The number one teaching in Vedanta is discrimination: Brahman satya, jagad mithya — God is real, the world is false (temporary, empty, unable to fulfill or satiate). But we shy away from taking the plunge. “How do I renounce my spouse, children, relatives, career, etc.?” Asking “how” distracts us from the first step – identifying ourselves as infinite Spirit/Atman. “How?” Via the reasoning process given to us in all those teachings: discriminating between the Self and the 5 Koshas, the Self and the 3 Bodies/States of consciousness, the Self and the 5 elements, the Self and the 4-fold mind. Everything looks different if we take this step. If we do this first and intuit – even if only intellectually – that we are infinite Spirit, birthless, deathless, and all-pervading, then we can pierce through the changing names and forms of loved ones, hated ones, neutral ones, and situations, to the Unchanging — the Atman-Brahman.
As stated in the Vivekachudamani by Shankara:
“Living in constant realization of this [that Brahman is appearing to us as the world,
living beings, and time] is what is called enlightenment.”
We just have to do it. As householders, we may think that our concerns for supporting our family and raising our children with love and discipline in the face of societal demands and the ever-encroaching invasions of a technologically hyperactive society are not being addressed. However, this turning from the unreal alone brings all the qualities we want to manifest and abide in for ourselves and our children: Love, Compassion, Peace, Freedom. What are we waiting for?
A few pointers:
Sri Ramakrishna
“The ‘unripe ‘I’ makes one feel: ‘I am the doer. These are my wife and children. I am a teacher.’ Renounce this ‘unripe I’ and keep the ‘ripe I,’ which will make you feel that you are the servant of God, His devotee, and that God is the Doer and you are His instrument.” – Sri Ramakrishna
Babaji
“When one is in the practice phase of spiritual life, renunciation is sought as a desired quality of the mind. But after mature renunciation has been attained, one realizes that it is a natural attribute of the Atman, i.e., that Atman easily renounces everything based upon It being always and ever Full.”
“You speak of the Indian Rishis? They were mainly householder rishis. Their whole life was Dharma. They did not approach it by practicing and then giving up, or running hot and cold, or by giving way to complacency, but by sincere, adamant, self-effort followed by attainment of the highest order.”
“ “The main difference between a Seer and a worldly person is that the Seer sees the world as unreal and the worldly see it all as real. The Seer renounces it and is free and peaceful.”
Jamgon Kontrul Rinpoche
“Only with fearlessness can we maintain equanimity in the midst of distractions.”