Student Notebook
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The 2012 summer retreat at the American River focused on the teachings of Moksha, True Freedom. The English language and the way we use it will never be the same for those of us who study Vedanta and the divine vocabulary of Sanskrit – a language by which, as Babaji often tells us, a substantial cross-section of an entire culture became illumined. The English “equivalents” to Sanskrit terms like freedom, peace, knowledge, ignorance, consciousness (Moksha, Shanti, Jnana, Avidya, Chaitanya) take on a new-found depth and bring inspiration even in casual conversations. Freedom, Moksha, has no opposite; it is not a changing state, but ever-present. Throughout the week’s classes, Babaji presented charts and teachings that drove this Truth deeply into our consciousness. Charts like “The Supreme Pathway to the Eternal Moksha” and “The True Meaning of Moksha” revealed the uncaused nature of this Freedom as the Reality of our own Self, and also revealed the mental overlays that hide it from us. An entire week was spent delving into this, tasting it, trying it on – how? through hearing, through study of those who lived in full consciousness of this Freedom, through reflection and meditation. Below are a few notes from the Satsang portions of our days, when questions arose from the students as they sought to assimilate these teachings.
Satsang is about Atma Vichara [inquiry into the Self]. Atma Vichara is one of the Four Sentinels: Shanti, Santosha, Atma Vichara, and Sadhu satsangha. [peace, contentment, Self-inquiry, and Holy Company]
The deep sleep state, sushupti, is the potential for everything to come into form. Ordinary beings do not know this, and that is why they are born in ignorance again and again. Never knowing where form comes from, they are unsure of where their own form has originated. This cloud of unknowing that covers the mind causes them to eventually assume that they are the body.
Babies are fresh from the mother's womb. They are carrying the memory of the bliss of being formless. That is why they shine, initially. The seers are ever fresh from the Divine Mother's Womb, and that is why they shine eternally....not for just a few years.
As soon as you are qualified for Kundalini rising, you are healed in mind, emotion, and body – and these come under your control.
Conventional therapy hashes and rehashes mental-stuff (chitta) from the subconscious and unconscious mind. But sadhana deals with these things in a unique way. Sadhana is reserved for those who are ready to work on themselves without the use of drugs, elixirs, moral regimens, counseling, and the like.
There is an attraction between Purusha and Nature, Spirit and matter, and it is eternal. If the attraction is about attachment there is lower chakra suffering. But if the attraction is without desire, then it is a matter of sport – from the heart chakra upwards.
Attracted to form? We want to be masters of form, never its slave. Nature is insentient and has somehow tricked the soul into thinking that it is matter. This is so ignoble. It is the responsibility of the sincere seeker to reverse this misguided trend. As Vivekananda has said, if it is at all noble to bear with suffering of the body in matter, then it is nobler still to come up and out of matter – by leaving matter alone.
It is better to be meditating on what you are instead of what you are not. This is how the great ones conquered attraction to form. The world is a gymnasium for souls; in it they can overcome attachment to form. When mastery is attained, you can do what you want. It is not that form is evil. Evil begins when attachment to form develops.
In Vedanta, the principle of intuition is not given a very high place. Intuition can operate merely at emotional and psychic levels. A higher intuition is pure Knowing; the death of ignorance is its fruit. It makes one aware of Atman.
The world goes away in deep sleep because of ignorance, and then returns due to the selfsame ignorance. But the world goes away, never to return as a world, in enlightenment. Whatever returns in that Condition, is only Brahman.
Krishna states in the Gita that beings are unmanifested in the beginning, manifested in the middle, and unmanifested in the end. You see this when your baby is born and your grandfather dies. We have gotten used to calling it birth, life, and death. Meditating on this triputi, and coming to know it inside out, we can rename these three phases of our own consciousness “projection, sustenance, and withdrawal.”
At death you drop the annamaya kosha (physical sheath). In most cases, the pranamayakosha then takes the manamayakosha and the vijnanamayakosha into the anandamayakosha (energy, mind, intellect sheaths into bliss/ego/causal sheath.) Seeing beyond this final sheath, some seers have described the Atmamayakosha – the sheath of pure Awareness.
Everything Is; it does not become anything. Being and becoming are two very different things.
Anytime you find work, family, or money impinging on your spiritual life, it is time to beat a hasty retreat to a Retreat. Retreats are for householders, mainly. Without them, life becomes a nightmare of either suffering or boredom.
When you get your discrimination intact, then you will know what to love and what not to love.
Until one has surrendered the self/ego to God, one is a danger to oneself and to others.
I had no idea what to expect as we turned off of the gravel road onto the paved drive at the Forest Hills Retreat Center, especially having never attended any type of retreat in my life. Actually, until three days prior to this, I’d never even been to an ashram, certainly never met a real guru, and had never been blessed with holy company who shared the same views of our relationship with God, nature, and Reality. This was a first for me in a lot of ways. Even though I’d been corresponding with Babaji and Annapurna for many years, until just a couple of days prior to the retreat was the first time that I’d ever met them. Those powerful moments, meeting the Guru and Gurubhai Annapurna, would best be shared another time. As I said, I had no idea what to expect, but it wasn’t long before my niece, Jamie, and I fell right into the ranks. We were greeted like long lost kinfolk returning home. Funny how people of different climes and upbringings who share a common bond feel right at home with one another… I’d found a very warm and caring atmosphere, a stark contrast to something I’d read years ago, which was one author’s account, written in a short story, about her experience on a Vedanta retreat. She complained about the “dryness” and described most of the people as “dispassionate.” My experience was anything but dry and, while passion is not a word we like to use too much in Vedanta, everyone seemed to be happy and eager to start the retreat and appeared to be passionate in their resolve.
After getting settled in and meeting my brothers and sisters, I took a short stroll around the grounds. The air was fresh and smelled of evergreen — reminding me of my own Carolina foothills — further lending to that “right at home” atmosphere. It was very quiet and, except for the occasional bird or squirrel rousting round for a meal, all was still — a perfect place for meditation and absorption of the teachings we were about to receive.
The house was spacious, with a large deck running round the back and halfway up one side where many of the brothers and sisters chose to unpack and roll out their sleeping bags to sleep right under the stars. Since I am in the construction business I have a habit of inspecting the craftsmanship and uniqueness of custom homes when I’m at one for more than a few minutes. One of the things that caught my eye, besides the fine quality of the home, was the wrought iron rails around the deck. They were custom made and each 10 foot section had its own AUM symbol made right into it — Bhavatarini Ma’s own special order, and I loved it!
Our first classes each day were after breakfast and before lunch. Three hours of sublime teachings from Babaji, spilling out in a steady, unbroken transmission in such a manner that I felt Shankara or Lord Krishna were speaking right through Him. In rapt attention I hung onto every word that Guruji spoke, as if the very next one would be the very one which would awaken this slothful mind.
The food was delicious! I am neither a vegetarian nor vegan, but the food was so good and plentiful that the change in diet never really occurred to me. Sandra did such a wonderful job; preparing 3 meals a day for up to 18 people could be no small task. But she endured with such grace and humility, smiling all the while. We all got the chance to do a little kitchen seva and could fill our names in on a signup sheet that worked splendidly! One night, Babaji and Loke Ma made “clear mind soup.” It was quite tasty, put together with the greatest care and love. Prasad from the Guru — doesn’t get much purer than that! I learned, among other things, that the kitchen should not be a noisy, confusing area. The kitchen is where nourishment for the body is put together. Like other things that can be absorbed; odors, tastes, etc. the food can absorb confusion and the like and pass those vibrations onto us, or, at least that was the way that I understood it, so the food should be put together in a quiet and mindful way. This helps keep the food as pure as possible. We were told all of this at the beginning of the retreat, and also asked to please stay out of the kitchen unless it was your turn to help. But by the time it was my turn for seva I’d forgotten and was just talkin’ away when, by gentle but firm reminder from Babaji, He made it crystal clear that I needed to quiet down; “Practice your mantra,” He said. The Guru has a way of cutting straight to the point, making it hard to forget the next time the urge hits or an old habit like that creeps back in.
I will never forget our times at the river. It was so beautiful and pristine. Hard to believe that there are still places where the water is so clear and clean. I understand that this river is hailed as “The Ganges of the West.” The first time I saw the river from above it looked like a ribbon of liquid emerald winding its way through the valley floor. One would never believe, until you walked right up to it and jumped in, that it was 12-15 feet deep in some places and that the water was so clean and clear you could see every rock, every pebble strewn about the bottom. We had a blast swimming and diving off rocks! During the still times I took the opportunity to get to know my brothers and sisters a little better. Even though we weren’t at the retreat center we carried the atmosphere of purity with us on our excursions so the conversations rarely deviated from things of a spiritual nature. I am thankful for the time that I got to spend with each and every one of them. At those times it was also possible to get some one-on-one time with Babaji and share things with him or ask questions that one might feel more comfortable asking in private. As I said, I’ll never forget those times on the river, sharing experiences, swimming and eating watermelon with my brothers and sisters, and look forward to doing it again.
Morning meditations started at 5am, the call bell rang at 4:40am and everyone made their way to the classroom where we sat blissfully for an hour. After we were all seated, Babaji would come in and take his seat. He would then recite from the Bhagavad Gita, a chapter each day, first in Sanskrit, then in English. It was so very powerful and set the tone for not only the meditation period, but the rest of the day as well. For me, this was one of the most transforming periods of the retreat, so much so that I am still following that routine in my daily sadhana (‘cept I can’t read Sanskrit… yet).
I felt so fortunate to be with the sangha during observance of Swami Vivekananda’s Mahasamadhi. Again, having experienced my very first satsang, arati, or puja only three days prior, this was a very moving experience for me. It was new but still somehow familiar. Afterwards we all had chocolate ice cream, Swamiji’s favorite. Babaji told us a story about how when Swamiji would visit people they figured out how to make him stay longer at the table than he’d intended. He was very busy and had an arduous schedule, so didn’t have a lot of time for chitchat and such. One host once noticed that he loved chocolate ice cream, so when he was about ready to leave the table, and in order to keep the guest of honor seated, they would ask him if he cared for some. He would promptly sit down again. I can certainly understand how it feels to want every precious moment that one can get with their Guru.
All in all the 2012 River Retreat left an indelible impression on this mind and heart. I suppose that if I have to live with samskaras for a while it would be these types that I would want. The experience with the Guru, the Sangha, and listening to the Dharmic teachings has stayed with me since. I really hate clichés, but this was one of those life-changing things that happen rarely. Scarce are the positive influences that are so powerful that one can’t imagine living life any other way. I can’t wait until next year! Until then:
“Om sham no mitrah, sham no varunah, sham no bhavatvaryama, sham no indro brhaspatih, sham no vishnururukramah, namo brahmane, namaste vayo, tvameva pratyaksham brahmasi, tvameva pratyaksham brahma vadishyami, rtam vadishyami, satyam vadishyami, tanmamavatu, tadvaktaramavatu, avatu mam, avatu vaktaram, Om shantih shantih shantih”“May all the gods be propitious to us and grant us earthly welfare and spiritual bliss. Salutations to Vishnu, God with form; salutations to Brahman, the formless Reality; salutations to Vayu, the perceptible Brahman. Thou art what is real, what is true, what is beneficial. Therefore protect me, and protect my Teacher. Protect Guru, dharma and Sangha forever more. Om peace, peace, peace.” – Peace invocation from the Yajur Veda
SRV’s mission – setting the feet of humanity on the path of universal Truth – takes two intrinsically related approaches. First, the householder, the working person, the family person, the grandparent, aunts and uncles, must be taught the Vedanta and other darshanas for the removal of ignorance* so they cannot only free themselves, but be examples for the younger generation. Second, children and youth must be given deep and comprehensive teachings so that those who are to raise families will be natural teachers of their children from birth; so that those who remain single will serve a high ideal in all their activities; so that those who are called to a dedicated spiritual life will have the opportunity to recognize this and find support for it. Together, these two approaches counter the effects of materialism, superficiality, confusion, and depression that cause unnecessary suffering and the degeneration of society. [*”ignorance,” in spiritual terms, means the cloud of unknowing that covers awareness of our eternal Existence, Knowledge, and Freedom.]
“Sri Ramakrishna did not wear his detachment like a crown of thorns, but like a robe. Indeed, He was not like us; he was telling us to be like Him. He is God in human form. We have forgotten what that is like. People let children, pets, and money rule their lives. They are bound, and they teach their children to be bound. If I am free I can help others to be free. If I am bound, I teach others to be bound. What else?” -- Babaji Bob Kindler
Each summer, SRV offers a retreat that includes special classes for young people, called Chela Dharma (The Dharma of the Student), and a children’s class. Teens and young adults attend Chela Dharma, as well as all the adult classes and meditations. Young children (6yrs to 12yrs or so) have their own classes and projects. You are invited to see the lessons from this past summer:- 2012 Chela Dharma – Peace of Mind
I really enjoyed the discussion-type setting of the classes. The socratic theme makes it fun and easy for everyone to participate and expand on certain topics with each other. There really isn’t anything I didn’t like, the whole thing was very interesting and beneficial. For change, we could maybe be recommended some reading that has to do with the topic of the class. Also, the discussion questions were very tasty food for thought. :)
I thoroughly enjoyed the Chela Dharma course at this year’s summer retreat. It was very engaging. In a rather relaxed setting we discussed captivating, profound truths that gave us something we can really hold on to and take into the world. Mahesh, the teacher of the Chela Dharma class made it easy for us to have fun with our discussions/classes, playing games like “Atman,” while using wonderful metaphors like the jackfruit to explain critical concepts of Vedanta. The questions and reading material provided for us was substantial and thought provoking.
- 2012 Children’s Lessons – The Light Mantra
- Commentary on Lesson 3 of 2012 Children’s Lessons: There, the Sun Shines Not