The Mother Kali Retreat was a "watershed" retreat for SRV.  Released from all other duties but remaining fully focused on the teachings and Mother's all-pervasive Presence, bereft of cell phones and wifi, the entire retreat sangha vibrated with a heightened level of concentration and seriousness, embracing Babaji's command at the very start:  "I have just one instruction for you all: Get the world out of your mind."

Below are a few selections from this student's notebook, with occasional commentary in []:

Just as we say "Sarvosmi" (I am all); and just as "Sarvam Khalvidam Brahman" (All is Brahman), we will find that all is Mother.

This morning's class, our first in the retreat, is about purification.  You have to purify mind, body, and senses.  We are approaching the Universal Mother.  Therefore you have to open yourself to something very pure -- something analogous to jet fuel, as opposed to diesel fuel.

We are going back to the Original Male (Shiva/Existence) and the original Mother (Essence).

[What followed this statement was a series of "nyasas" or purifications.  Babaji treated the entire retreat like one long puja (worship), in which the worshiper must first deify body, senses, and mind.  For, as the Tantras say, "Only God can worship God," and the logical corollary here is that only God will recognize the presence of God.  Babaji led us through the 9-Fold Ritual Preliminary to beginning one's spiritual practice that begins with the vow to awaken consciously each morning, surrender life, mind, and soul to God, salute the sacred line of spiritual transmission (the Gurus) in our chosen path, and to infuse our sadhana with enthusiasm.  I know from talking with others who attended the retreat, that some of us are continuing to do this daily before beginning japa and meditation.  The effect of completing this ritual as a group, including Ganga water, mantras, and heartfelt vows, was like turning the tumblers of a lock.  By the end, our hearts were "unlocked", individually and collectively, to receive the "jet fuel" of Mother's Wisdom presented so lovingly and graciously by our teacher.]

Ritual is not dogmatic.  It is the Mother's Life amongst the people.  It is Mother's Life manifesting in human beings.  As Lex Hixon said, we should re-initiate ourselves each day.  Doing this 9 Fold practice makes us a participant in our own sadhana.  We must bring back the right to have and hold our own consciousness.

Now, there is another kind of purification, and that is singing.  There's call and response chanting which is lots of fun....and then there's what I do.  [I'm including this little note for its wry humor that had us all laughing that day.  Yes, there's "fun" and then there's Jai Ma Music -- the bliss of Love and Wisdom combined.]

Mother's Aspects

Mother is Pradhana, the Supreme creation, the unmanifest Nature that all name and form arise out of.  The Victory is Mother's: we walk through Her, wake in Her, and then fall back asleep in Her.

Nature isn't just what we see with our senses, but also where the dinosaurs go.  Nature has two aspects: manifest and unmanifest.  The dinosaurs continue to "exist" in unmanifest nature.  Tantra emphasizes this cyclical nature of Nature. In the Gita, both Purusha and Prakriti are unborn (eternally existent). 

Vedanta emphasizes the decaying nature of Nature.  This is a technique to help us to let go.  Some say creation is born of ignorance rather than perfection.  The issue is that form naturally covers Formlessness.  Beings want the worlds of form, so Mother provides for this .... and gives a wink. The wink signifies Her investing us with the Atman.

The Gunas aren't moods, they are modes.  They are not our "fault"; they are part of nature.  Equate balance with concentration.  The truth is, you have a revelatory power in you (Prakasha Shakti, aka: sattva).  You have to awaken it and thereby skirt restlessness (rajas) and lethargy (tamas).

If we feel the "world is my oyster," then we have to begin to perceive it as Maya (a deluding power).  Next, we have to see it as divine play, Lila.  Then we can begin to see it all as Brahman.

Ya Devi sarvabhuteshu (O Goddess who dwells in all beings) - Mother exists as ignorance and as realization.  In the meantime, Her advice is to head for sattva!  May you rest in peace (sattva).  Don't rest in pieces (rajas).

The senses are outgoing, and the objects are out there -- they're a pair.

Avidya Vinashani -- Mother, the Destroyer of Ignorance

You have to take on more and more responsibility for freedom.  It is a lifetime's endeavor.  We're kind of like circus clowns, and we have to keep our balance on the main ball we're standing on, which is our spiritual life, while juggling the other smaller balls of the world.  Even the main ball moves about in this life.  But we have to become like Siva -- Immovable.  He's Sat/Existence, and Shakti is Essence/Dynamism.

Shakti's manifestations are Siva appearing as the Imminent.  Hence, all life in the worlds of name and form.

If your scope is limited to matter alone, that will be your scope in the future.  Get on the edge of Mother's Sword if you want liberation in one lifetime.  Watch Her cut away the veils of ignorance.  This is the real "cutting edge."

Vedanta aims at the Formless.  Tantra aims at the Formless [laughter], but takes the long road that doesn't miss anything.  Tantra is kinder to form.  In Vedanta, maya is the power of enchantment and the aim is to transcend form.  Tantra proceeds via deification of form.  Take both views along on your spiritual journey.

"Manifestation is in the nature of Reality," states the Tantras. Once you get over ignorance, then liberation opens up as an infinite playground.  This is one reason why Sri Ramakrishna could not bear to be called father, master, or guru. Realization is infinite.

Shakti is one with Siva, yet has Her own active existence, Her own free play.  The seers wonder at this.  Scores of wisdom songs are sung about this.  Holy Mother epitomizes this.  She is a full incarnation of the Divine Mother, not just the consort of the Avatar of the age.

Mother's Cosmic Principles -- Her vibratory realms
[At various times throughout the retreat, we were "injected" with complex subsystems of the Tantra philosophy. Before one class, Babaji joked with us, "May the overwhelming commence!"  These several systems were specially chosen by Babaji to enhance our understanding of the realms of name and form, and also the nature of Siva and Shakti -- They who are ever free in these realms and are actually sporting as our very selves.  Imagine the gloriousness of discovering that Tantric seers perceive that we are all Siva playfully donning various limitations that will eventually fall away as we become ripened via spiritual disciplines.  These teachings destroy fear and corrode our tendency to falsely identify with our puny psycho-physical appearances, when in truth, "Soham" (I am He) and "Saham" (I am She).  This also explains the almost zany expressions of a Swami Vivekananda and others who could call the harsh and terrible experiences of life "great fun."]

Tirodhana, one of the 5 powers of Siva, means self-limitation.  These are coming out of Siva (you) and He (you) are taking them on.

Have you seen those ivory balls from China, ornately carved from a single piece of ivory, yet containing freely moving balls one inside the other?  Like this, Shakti carves all these forms out of Siva/Sat.

Hiranyagarbha, the Cosmic Womb containing Om: this is where all matter is stored in the form of thought.

Shakti and Her worship accomplishes in Her devotees a full involution via detaching the soul from phenomena.

In your meditation, if you make an offering of yourself to Ishvara/Ishvari (the highest vibration conceivable to the mind), you can transcend all the lower spandas (vibratory realms).

Philosophies come into being to explain what already exists and ever is.

Mother doesn't remove ignorance. [shocked surprise] She gives us a more direct way: which is to simply know Her.  To know Her is to love Her, and this Is the removal of ignorance.

You can't get to the infinite by the finite.  Mother's knowledge is infinite.  Her Presence is infinite.  You finally let go of conventional systems as finite concepts.

Kundalini is a river that flows but never changes.

When you meditate on Her after striving hard to know Her, then you see how your perspective has changed.  You see two flows now: the flow of the changeful phenomena and the flow of Kundalini.

Vichikirsa (a tantric term regarding the divine will of Shakti and Shiva to create): This is the will to invest Lord Brahma with the power to create even better than last time, an intense desire and intent, a sense of wild adventure. [Imagine, unmanifest Nature, Hiranyagarbha, contains the potential for anything -- dinosaurs, jellyfish, platypuses, antimatter -- what's next?]

Four Stages of the Word
[This is a teaching that is used in Vedanta, Yoga, and Tantra.  Babaji has presented this teaching for as long as our independent SRV Associations have been operating.  This time, it made its inevitable and intriguing appearance like a priceless gem glittering in the perfect setting, riveting the attention of one and all.  Below are a few choice notes.]

Para: Essence; Pure knowledge abiding as Atman.  In Para, there is not even a suggestion of potential.  It is the formless Mahashakti.  Purnahanta, or "I-in-fullness."

Pashyanti: This stage gives rise to the possibility of things.  It is the plane of pure ideas, wherein the sacred bijas exist.  It is undifferentiated Unity.

Madhyama: Here is where thought vibration begins to happen. It is now differentiated Unity.  Concept, thought, sound, and meaning all conjoin.  This is where we can begin to make sense of everything in both directions.  For example: Your mother asks you for a chair and you bring it to her.  The sound, the meaning, the object, the concept of it are all together.  Further, you can remember this incident and share it with another.  ["making sense of everything in both directions" is the point here, because this teaching of the Word is a tool for the practice of involution. By understanding how the universe evolves from Para to Vaikari, one can reverse the process. Through it we mentally dissolve the gross (worlds and objects) into the subtle (worlds and objects), and the subtle into the stage of pure ideas, and dissolve those into the Supreme (Para).]

Vaikari: Gross sound or speech.  The sound itself is subtle, an essence.  This knowledge will transform your view.  Go to the Deity within you to see the Word.  Vaikari is Knowledge made manifest.  As Holy Mother said, "The universe is thought made manifest."  She also stated, "Do you think that God created the universe piece by piece?  No, He created it all at once."  It is always existent.  Maintain the premise that Brahman is eternal and unchanging.  Hold this as you inspect the universe.  When my mind changes due to the gunas, my Consciousness remains the same.  Stay with It.  Let the brain go where it will, i.e. with the body at death.

The processes of the mind and intellect are the very hub of the Secret of Creation.

People's attraction to objects is really based upon the Word in the Buddhi (intellect).

Sound has the quality of ether (space or atmosphere).  Ether refers not just to physical space, but to all ethers: prana, thought, intelligence, Consciousness.  [This bit of knowledge will transform one's practice of japa and can be used to transform all sounds we hear.  As Ramprasad sings, "All sounds you hear are Her natural mantras arising spontaneously as the entire world worships Her," and, "May these ears be struck by lightning!  What purpose can they truly serve if every sound is not heard as the sweet nectar of Kali's Name, flooding our eyes with tears of ecstasy?"]

To be on Mother's sword is a sense of anticipation.  You concentrate on so many things.  Why not pull together your best concentration (like the gods did in the Chandi to invoke Mother Durga) and manifest your precious Chosen Deity?

[Regarding feelings of "overwhelm" in the course of these teachings, Babaji related:] I prefer the sponge method:  saturate, then squeeze out what you can't use and get more.  This is better than the sieve method: a trickle, and then a trickle more. The sponge method is best because people have the idea that the mind will illumine them.  But mind does not have that power. The sponge method overwhelms the mind, quelling its erratic vibrations like a river overflowing its banks puts out a campfire. [Remember the verse from the Katha Upanisad: There the sun shines not, nor the moon, the stars, lightning or fire.  These lesser lights are incapable of illumining the Light of Pure Consciousness.  Likewise, the mind cannot illumine That which allows it to appear sentient.  It would seem that Babaji's "joke" of "May the overwhelming begin" was also a blessing.]

Shaktism and Shaivism, with Sankhya as the cosmological basis, Yoga as practice, and Vedanta as its nondual philosophy, is Mahayoga.

Work is best used for purification.  How is that done? via sacrifice.  So make all action, including our classes, a sacrifice.

Being born without religious samskaras renders one deaf to higher wisdom.  It is like God walking up to someone and speaking Wisdom, and that person not understanding the language at all.  This is a most lamentable condition.  But you can't blame them.  It is unseemly, like chastising a child who doesn't understand your words.  Samskaras are like a canyon wall.  If you call out "hello" you will get an echo back.  May that echo say "I am atmabrahma..."

Kundalini is the rise of awareness.

People have the idea that just because Mother is everywhere, form must persist.  But I don't buy it.  Nirvikalpa is beyond form.  You can have form if you want, but you don't have to.

Sattva Purusha Nytakhyati: This is the 7th Victory that Mother grants.  Here, one knows the Self is completely different from Nature. But one has to "unite" with it first before one can really know this.  A good process for this is the Word, and learning the interconnectedness of all things.  After this penultimate union, you will want free of it and come to realize that the Soul was always free of it.  In other words:
Ignorance: I am separate from Nature
Growth: I am one with Nature
Nondual Realization: All of nature is within Me

[These notes are personal reminders of what struck this student in a powerful way.  Even now, these notes not only evoke the atmosphere of the retreat, but urge me to deeper contemplation of the inner realms and subtle connections/integrations they are pointing to.]